I was going to comment on The New Year's Honours List... then I also read about scientists are preparing to grow lettuces on Mars...

WTF????!!!

Life (on Earth) is far too short...

I have just popped into The (New) Bell and I'm trying to get a new post on my blog...from my phone... Sexy eh??!!
I was quite surprised to learn, over Christmas, that one or two people often check in to see what I'm up to, or not...amazing!! With that in mind, I will endeavour to spend more time on it and try and make it more...entertaining... Ho Ho Ho!!! Anyway, at least I can post with my phone...who knows where it'll lead!! See you in the New Year...xx

R.I.P. - Trolley

It is with much sadness and regret that I have to announce the demise of my...trolley...

This is a dreadful blow...
My trolley and I (I didn't give it a name) have been travelling the highways and byways of Southern England (and the streets of London), for over 2 years now, transporting all sorts of bits and bobs... drills, rollers, brushes, saws, paint, food (yes, food) and many other items too numerous to mention and generally keeping the world of commerce ticking over.
Many people have taken the piss commented upon me and my trolley, from Radlett to Rudgwick, Guildford to Vauxhall and all stations in between.
We persevered, regardless, come rain, snow and sunshine...truly an all weather combination!
Fearless, I would even suggest.
No more, I'm afraid.
I had noticed recently that the bloody thing was coming apart at the seams - literally.
Much stapling had been administered in order for normal service to continue.
I suppose I should have seen the writing on the wall a couple of weeks ago.
I was outside my door, wresting with the, rather overburdened and lumpy article when I heard someone behind me shout 'SNAP!'.
I turned around to see a blue-rinsed octogenarian (female) grinning at me and holding onto an identical 'vehicle' trying to make it to Tesco before either of them passed out...
'Argos' was all I said and we made our excuses and trundled off down the road, wondering if my street-cred had suffered somewhat.
The final straw came on Friday.
It was one step too far...
As I unloaded the groaning trolley off the train, I misjudged the gap and dropped it onto the platform with a 'crack'.
I ignored it, as usual, but found that the normal effortless 'glide' had now become a real drag.
The chassis had broken and I was without any suspension.
With much effin' and blindin' I hauled the thing back to base and immediately got forensics onto it.
It was a write-off.
It will be sadly missed, but the show goes on...
Trolley.v2 will be making an appearance soon...an industrial version.
I will be posting pics of it soon.

Apparently, the tyres were illegal as well..

Well, well, well

Epiphany??

It's been a roller-coaster ride so far, this year, one way or another.
Certainly over the last few months.
Perhaps it is because I have been in an "elevated sensitive" state that a particular incident that occurred on Monday evening has had a profound impact on me.
I had spent the day working in Guildford, and on finishing, I had strolled to a restaurant, wined and dined myself and then headed to the railway station.
I was walking around the Friary Shopping Mall, it was a balmy evening, not too many people about.
And I was in my usual, "What's It All About/What's it all For" mode of thinking.

Several pedestrians were wandering about and then round the corner came a young kid on a BMX style bike. Riding on the pavement. No problem, he wasn't going too fast or wild and he appeared to be bothering no-one and was giving everybody lots of room.
I didn't think anything of it (yeah, I know they can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but this kid was doing OK...and I was knackered).
As he sailed by me, the calm was suddenly shattered by a loudspeaker/hailer squawking at some obscene volume to the effect of "Oi!! THAT KID RIDING ON THE PAVEMENT- IT"S NOT ALLOWED- GET OFF IT IMMEDIATELY!
It was directly above my head.
It stopped me in my tracks.
I couldn't believe that there was some Fuckwit/Arsehole, watching a camera and commanding pedestrians how to behave. WTF??!!
I was immediately transported to 1984, which, co-incidentally, I have recently re-read.
I think I stood there for about 5 minutes just looking at the bloody contraption on the wall.

Big Brother is here...
Yes, I know all about the cctv coverage/cameras throughout our country/society, but for some unknown reason, because this was right in my ear, literally and because it concerned something so trivial as a kid riding a bike on a pavement it brought the whole CCTV observation scenario into sharper focus.
I was fucking LIVID!!
By the time I was sitting on the train home I had decided, not for the first time, that this was no longer the country/society that I wished to live in...or die in, for that matter.
Time to do something about it.
So... I have.
I have spent a major part of my life travelling, one way or another, and I think it's time I dusted off the passport and moved on...certainly from this God-forsaken piece of shit that purports to be England.
I am now beginning to make plans that involve a lot of travelling.
With the way things are going work-wise and the (slight) possibility of a previously unforeseen little pension pot infusion, (yeah, I'm that old...nearly!!), my plan is simple:
I am going fly to the furthest point on the planet from this mess that I'm living in at the moment, and see about working my way back...if I want to.
New Zealand, (yes SC, this may involve you!!) as a staring point and take it from there.
I will have no time limits.
I am relatively fit, physically (mentally, I'm still not sure), so it has to/can be done.
There are few (if any) people here, who will even register my prolonged absence, so I think, now is the perfect time to do what I have been advocating so many people to do over so many years...
I'm going to Fuck off.

I've given myself a maximum of 2 years (maybe could be done in 1) to get everything in order (monies etc).
Any advice/suggestions/comments are most welcome and if there is anybody out there who'd like to hook up with me at any time you are most welcome.
T&Cs will apply of course...mine, that is  :-)
Will I make it back?
Who knows.
I do know that I have to get out of this country and do what I have been itching to do for most of my life.
I am well aware this will probably be my last journey, but I'm going to make sure that it will be MY "Journey Of a Lifetime".

More details will follow and up-dates posted accordingly.

xxx

For all you eco-fascists, GreenPissers and Fiends of the Earth...a reality check...

...and just in case you thought re-cycling was a good idea...

Read this... and this...Go figure...

A Day in Regent's Park

And we are off to Regent's Park for the day and a Taste of London...
A short stroll across Waterloo Bridge and a meander up to Great Portland Street revealed some interesting colours...







...and what was once my office door to the photo-lab is now a...
NO...I don't know either...












Onto the meeting place...and a suitable level of bonhomie was clearly evident...











A party atmosphere ensued...

...that carried on into the VIP Lounge...of course!

Quite a lot of other people seemed to have the same idea...

We soldiered on...

We even had to contend with "solids"...

Scallop (1) ceviche... £10...£3.33 a mouthful... Bargain!!...I don't think...

I've kept the shell...that'll teach 'em!!

More solids arrived...at vast expense...obviously...this is London and Regent's Park after all.

Reassuringly expensive, but flavoursome, nonetheless...

The party was in full swing...

 
 

Fortunately we had our GPS system hooked up and we managed to carry on without impedance...

Although some evacuation stations were more orderly...

...than others...Phew!!...must've have been desperate!!

Our perseverance finally paid off and normal service was resumed...

Some of us really entered into the spirit of the occasion with gusto...

But fortunately, Lady Geek Geek was on hand to ensure a modicum of good behaviour was maintained...

...ish...

I had to have a kebeb when I returned to Hampton Court...bloody starving!!!

And so to Lord's...

Courtesy of a friend I have known since 1972, I was offered a ticket to Lord's (June 12th).
It was an offer I couldn't refuse and it also gave me the chance to catch up on one of the craziest, nicest people I've had the good fortune to meet and spend time with...occasionally.
Lord's is world famous and after spending a day there yesterday, I can now understand why so many people the world over flock to the place with an almost religious zeal.
The waters at Lord's which, apparently, have life enhancing properties, have changed many people's lives and continue to attract many disciples on a regular basis.
After yesterday, I can understand why.


It was busy, to say the least by the time I arrived...


















The waters were having a magnetic effect...clearly!

I ventured further into the 'Shrine' and it wasn't too long before I discovered the reason why...


The 'life-enhancing waters' were served in very user-friendly receptacles called... bottles... nice...
The picture shows you my... 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th of my "Five-a-Day" regime that had been recommended to me.
I decided to try and find out the truth behind the label and see for myself what was the secret of the "Holy Ground" and why so many people were drawn to it in an almost trance-like state...














Throughout the entire day I was surrounded by like-minded disciples clearly intent on imbibing as much of the Holy Waters they could find...

My fellow worshippers were taking full advantage of the God-given sunshine that enveloped us all...

Some were obviously meeting fellow worshippers they had previously met...

Everywhere there were opportunities to partake of the life-enhancing substance, although, strangely enough...some were less popular...

...than others....

Certain dress codes were in evidence, the meaning of which escaped me...

    

No. 7 of my 3-a-day regime...

Strange hieroglyphics were everywhere...

Still...I had that nagging feeling that the true source of inspiration was escaping me so I soldiered on.

I had to stay alert...Mammon was always present, luring the unwary into dark corners, ready to relieve the innocent of their hard earned tokens...

One way or another...

I resisted all temptations and continued with my nine-a-day regime...

...under the watchful gaze of The Lord...

And then...EUREKA!!!...

With much trembling and shuffling of undergarments...I suddenly realised I had finally discovered the true essence of Lord's...

I was just a zip away from the Inner Sanctum and before I knew it, I was propelled into the "Great Urinal" where the true miracle of Lord's was revealed...

Turning alcohol into water...naturally...AMAZING!!!

The rest of the day went by in a blur as the realisation that I had been blessed with the ability sank in...

Strangely...there was a large green area set aside for a group of clearly, senior acolytes performing some strange ritualistic dance...not dissimilar to the tribal Morris Dancing I had seen the week before...

...with many worshippers popping in to have a look...

However...I had truly found the meaning of Lord's and so I made my way home in the full knowledge I had been blessed with the miracle of being able to take make the piss out of anything...

I did hear that there is a similar venue in France, but with a slightly different spelling, apparently.

Must check it out.